How to Write Meaningful Vows for Your Elopement
How to Write Your Vows
Eloping gives you the space to speak from the heart, without pressure, without an audience—just you and your partner, present in the moment.
Your vows become more than just words. They are markers of the beginning of a new chapter, meant to deepen your bond with each other.
Unlike traditional vows exchanged in a church or city hall, elopement vows are all about intention.
There are no rules, no time limits, no expectations—just the freedom to express how you feel about your partner in the way that feels most right for you.
So whether you want to exchange them during sunrise or in a remote location with inspiring views, it’s truly on your terms.
And while that freedom is exciting, it can also feel a little daunting if writing isn’t your strong suit. But don’t worry—I’ve got you!
Keep reading for heartfelt tips to help you craft vows that feel natural, meaningful, and 100% you.
PLAN YOUR ELOPEMENT: Free Elopement Checklist | Elopement Planning Worksheets | Elopement Photo Packages
What are Elopement Vows?
By definition, a vow is a promise—one you make to yourself or to someone you love.
In marriage, vows are deeply personal, reflecting the unique bond you share. They draw inspiration from:
The past—the loving or challenging moments that have shaped your relationship.
The present—the growth you’ve experienced together and the step you’re celebrating today
The future—your dreams, traditions, and the life you intend to build with each other side by side
At their core, vows include promises of your commitment to each other and declarations of love. However, they can (and should) be tailored to incorporate meaningful moments you’ve shared, what marrying your partner means to you, and sharing your intentions for your life together.
For an extra layer of significance, you might consider exchange small gifts alongside your vows. A couple of examples of gifts are handwritten letters, keepsakes, or something symbolic from an important moment in your life.
And that’s the beauty of elopements—your vow exchange can be as low-key or as deeply meaningful as you want.
Why are Vows Important
Vows are important because they lay the foundation for your marriage and what your relationship will be like from this day forward.
They’re a way of expressing what your relationship means to you and how you’ll keep showing up for it, day after day.
Beyond commitment, vows are also a chance to be fully open and vulnerable with your partner. Whether you're smiling at the memories you share or tearing up as emotions take over—this moment is yours to embrace in a safe space.
Pro-tip: if saying your vows out loud doesn’t feel natural, you can opt for writing them in a letter to give earlier or later in the day, or incorporating them into a symbolic gesture that represents who you are as partners.
When Should You Start Writing Your Vows?
If you’re comfortable writing, you might be able to draft your vows in just a week. But to avoid feeling rushed or leaving out something important, it’s best to start at least four months in advance.
You don’t have to write everything in one sitting. Begin with a simple list of ideas and let it sit for a few days. When you revisit it with fresh eyes, you might find new inspiration or clarity on what to add or refine.
Once you have a solid list, start drafting your vows.
Over the next few months (or weeks), you can revisit and refine them until you feel ready to write your final version.
Taking your time ensures your vows truly reflect your love and commitment.
How to Write Meaningful Vows in 7 Steps
Now that you’re ready to put your thoughts into words, let’s dive into writing vows that truly capture what you want say from the bottom of your heart.
The key is to keep focus on your relationship to make your words as intentional and personal as possible, and that doesn’t sound like a general template!
And if it helps, set the mood! Queue up your favorite love songs, light a candle for dramatic effect, and prop up a photo of your partner (like you’re about to confess your love in a rom-com).
Here’s how you write heartfelt elopement vows:
STEP 1. START WITH A WARM, HEARTFELT GREETING
Keep it casual with something you say every day, or get a little creative and try something new—just make sure it feels right and your partner will love it (bonus points for an adorable nickname!).
STEP 2. TAKE A MOMENT TO ACKNOWLEDGE THE DAY AND YOUR PARTNER
Next, take a moment to acknowledge where you are and the beauty of the day.
Comment on the sky, the surroundings, and how everything feels perfectly aligned for this moment. Express your gratitude for the setting, then turn your focus to your partner.
Let them know how overjoyed you are that they’re standing there with you, and don’t forget to compliment them on how amazing they look in their wedding attire—everyone loves compliments from their favorite person.
OPTIONAL, SHARE A FEW WORDS WITH GUESTS TOO
If you choose to share your vows in front of guests, it’s a sweet touch (although not necessary) to briefly express your gratitude for them being part of your special day.
Thank them for showing up and supporting your elopement journey.
If you’ve got a little extra time, feel free to add a personal touch and share a quick, heartfelt word with each one—make them feel extra special for being there!
STEP 3. INCLUDE A PERSONAL STORY
When it’s just the two of you, you have the freedom to share your most personal stories—no filters, no pressure, just real and raw emotion. But just be sure your story leads to a meaningful point or resolution!
For example, you could reminisce about how you first met, or something that happened that made you have a lightbulb moment that they were The One.
Whichever story you pick, stick to it and develop it in a way that naturally connects back to your elopement day, making this moment even more touching and memorable.
STEP 4. BE VULNERABLE WITH YOUR MARRIAGE PROMISES
Now comes the heart of your vows—those promises you’ll carry through your marriage.
This is your chance to reflect deeply on your commitment, thinking about both the present and the future you’re building together.
Take your time writing this part, and to make sure you don’t forget anything important, keep a brainstorming note on your phone so you can add to it whenever inspiration strikes.
Once you’ve gathered enough thoughts to truly express what you’re promising, how you’ll honor it, and why it matters, start shaping your drafts.
Be as open and vulnerable as possible—this is your moment to speak from the heart.
STEP 5. ADD YOUR WAY OF SAYING ‘I LOVE YOU’
By now, you know your partner well enough to know how you say I love you to them, and how they receive it best.
A simple “I love you” goes a long way but if you have an intimate or meaningful way of expressing it, include that too!
Whether you keep it sweet and sentimental or add a playful, inside-joke twist, add your own flavor to it with them in mind—your partner will feel every bit of love behind it.
STEP 6. USE A REFERENCE TO POP CULTURE THAT YOU BOTH UNDERSTAND
We all have that one movie, song, or poem that instantly reminds us of our partner. So why not bring it into your vows?
If there’s a line, lyric, or quote that perfectly captures your love and they know it, share it!
This step is totally optional, but adding a little pop culture nod or an inside joke can make your vows even more special and might even earn you a happy tear or a well-timed laugh!
Just keep it PG—this is a heartfelt moment, not a comedy roast (unless that’s your vibe of course!).
STEP 7. END WITH A SHORT AND SWEET CLOSING STATEMENT
To wrap up your vows, end on a sweet and heartfelt note.
You can close with another “I love you,” tie it back to your pop culture reference, or add one last meaningful sentiment you haven’t shared yet.
Make sure it’s a complete thought though—no cliffhangers or open-ended questions (this isn’t a season finale, love!)
In the end, just aim to leave your partner with words that feel complete, loving, and ready to seal the moment.
Tips on Writing Your Vows for Couples
Before you start writing your vows, take a moment to go through these tips to make sure you and your partner are on the same page:
Have a chat with each other before you start writing
To avoid disappointment with each other’s vows, discuss the tone, length, and the mood you each want for them.
Do you envision them being deeply romantic, short, funny…or all of the above?
If you're already on the same page when it comes to love languages and communication, this part will feel natural.
But if not, take the time to set expectations—talk about what stories feel meaningful to share and which ones might be better left out.
Setting these boundaries ensures that your vows feel authentic, respectful, and perfectly suited for the moment.
Ask each other questions about your relationship
You might think you know your relationship inside and out, but answering thoughtful questions together can still surprise you!
You might uncover a new perspective or memory that sparks the perfect vow inspiration.
Keep it light, make it fun, and turn it into a little date if the thought of it feels too formal.
Make the time and set the mood to write
Writer’s block is real, but the best way to beat it is to give yourself plenty of time and set the right mood to write from the heart.
That’s why starting your vows months in advance is key—no rushing, no pressure. Avoid writing when you're feeling stressed or in a negative headspace.
Instead, let inspiration come from the love you share in everyday moments. Go on dates, spend quality time together, and soak in the little things that make your relationship special.
These moments will naturally spark ideas for heartfelt, fun, and meaningful vows.
Write them thrice and practice saying them out loud
Rough drafts aren’t just for school essays—they’re a game-changer for writing your vows too.
It helps you get all your thoughts down, organize them, and shape them into a heartfelt, coherent speech.
Your first draft will have tons of scratched out phrases, that’s okay! Simply, refine it over time until you’re confident you’ve included everything you want to say.
When you're ready for the final draft, you’ll feel more assured in your words.
Then, practice, practice, practice! Reading your words out loud will help you hear how it flows and ensures they match the tone you and your partner envisioned.
Keep it kind and don’t unintentionally embarrass or make fun of your partner
Sharing your vows is one of the most meaningful moments of your elopement, so make the most of it by expressing loving, supportive and kind feelings.
If you’ve agreed to keep your vows light and fun, be mindful not to cross the line into anything that might embarrass your partner.
It sounds obvious but it can happen.
That’s why it’s important to talk beforehand about which stories are fair game and which ones might feel different from their perspective. What seems funny to you might not feel the same to them.
Questions to Inspire Your Vows
Ask yourself these questions to reflect on your relationship, your partner, and the journey ahead. Write down whatever comes to mind—there’s no need for perfection. This is all about getting your thoughts flowing!
What made you or how did you start falling in love with your partner?
What small everyday moments with your partner bring you the most joy?
How has your partner made you a better person in the time you’ve known them?
What’s something new you tried because of your partner that you enjoyed or felt life-changing?
List 3 promises that feel true to you and your relationship—Why are they important to you?
What’s been your favorite date with your partner? Describe it like you’re directing a movie about it.
How would you describe your relationship together? Come up with 3 descriptive words (these can help you set the tone and mood for your vows!)
What does marrying your partner means to you?
What movies, songs, books, etc., make you think of your partner? Keep it light and fun.
What do you want to thank your partner for?
Simple Vow Template To Use
If you need help starting, here’s a simple template for your use. Make sure to customize it and add on your personal touch by following these steps!
______________ [partner’s name], I remember the first day I met you like it was yesterday and I’m ______________ [emotion] that we’re here today. I’m ___________ [emotion] that this is the day I get to say yes to a life of _______________[adjective] adventures with you. I can’t believe that ___________ [personal story] and today, I stand here at ___________ [location] to make my promise to you to __________________________________ [personal promise] with all the good and the bad. I’m so thankful for you and most importantly, I’m so in love with you; _________ [partner’s affectionate nickname], I love you and always remember: ______________ [pop culture reference or loving inside joke].
Did you find this article helpful? Save it on Pinterest!
Hey, I’m Sara!
I’m a California elopement photographer based in the Central Valley.
If you’re recently engaged or ready to start planning your elopement day, I’m cheering you on and I’d love to help!
Let’s talk about your vision, gush over stunning locations and spend the day creating memories.
I’m here to guide you through the process + capture your day how you dream it.
YOUR PERFECT DAY STARTS HERE
