What You Need to Know About Elopements
Questions and Answers About Eloping
The decision to elope often feels natural for couples who crave an intimate and adventurous experience.
However, it’s important to acknowledge that a significant number of couples still deal with uncertainty when it comes to planning what to do on their wedding day. Do they go through the motion and have the traditional ceremony and party, or do they prioritize their own experiences and plan an elopement to have a special day just for themselves?
PLAN YOUR ELOPEMENT: Elopement Planning Worksheets | Elopement Photo Packages
Balancing the pros and cons of each option can be challenging and while I personally advocate for elopements, I know firsthand that it isn’t a one-size-fits-all choice!
If you find yourself in this dilemma, seeking answers about whether to elope or not, this is where I might be able to help. I have helped couples plan their elopement and below are some of the important questions they asked!
If you need more hands-on help or support, I highly recommend you join online communities for couples who are looking to elope, or have already eloped, on Facebook, Reddit or other trusted social platform.
Who knows? Their stories may be incredibly insightful to you and you’ll gain valuable answers to much personal questions about eloping.
What You Need To Know About Elopement Weddings
There are several compelling reasons why couples choose to have an elopement over a traditional wedding, and each reason is valid as long as it aligns with their conscious choice.
It’s essential to recognize that your reasons may differ from those of others but it’s always a good idea to truly know why you’re eloping. This is not about justifying your decision to anyone else but rather about ensuring that you have a clear and unwavering sense of why eloping is right for you.
If you’re new to the world of elopements though, you’re likely to have numerous questions so I wanted to provide you with a quick and comprehensive understanding by sharing some of the questions I have received from couples.
Let’s get started!
1| WHAT IS AN ELOPEMENT?
An elopement is a wedding where couples embrace an intimate setting with the main purpose to have the freedom to decide the 'what,' 'how,' 'where,' and 'why' of their special day. It's a wedding free from external judgments, be it from your family or friends, and removed stress from catering to outside expectations.
An elopement wedding is all about putting your desires and preferences at the forefront of your wedding day.
It's your opportunity to craft a celebration that is tailored to your personality and interests, allowing you to make unique adjustments to the timeline that truly reflect who you are.
2| ARE THEY CHEAPER THAN TRADITIONAL WEDDINGS?
Elopements aren’t always cheaper than traditional weddings, although they have lots of potential to be! At its most basic foundation, an elopement might entail of expenses limited to the marriage certificate/license, officiant fees, and your wedding attire.
If you want a low-cost elopement, go for it! But the beauty of elopements lies in their flexibility to align with your interests so if you want it to be extravagant, make it extravagant!
It will ultimately depend on your budget and what you value. Some couples prioritize their finances and spend as little money as needed, while others prioritize experiences and will spend as much as possible to create an itinerary full of unique activities.
Remember that you can always create a budget to have the elopement of your dreams.
3 | WHY SHOULD I CONSIDER ELOPING?
Traditional weddings often come with significant financial and emotional burdens that can weigh heavily on couples. Whether that be internal or external pressures, they can sometimes prompt them to reconsider their plans and opt for an elopement instead.
But outside of that, there are many other motivations behind the decision to elope. Some of the reasons include wanting reduced stress, the avoidance of hosting duties, and even a commitment to environmental consciousness.
Your personal reason for choosing to elope may be unique but it’s equally valid and significant!
4 | DO I HAVE TO MARRY AT CITY HALL?
You aren't limited to just City Halls when it comes to choosing a wedding venue for your elopement. In fact, the possibilities are endless. You have the freedom to tie the knot in a location that holds special meaning to you whether that is your backyard or at a place abroad.
The key is to ensure that you complete the necessary paperwork and meet the legal requirements specific to your chosen location.
Married abroad has its own complications though — Certain countries have rigorous and complex legal requirements so it’s often advisable to have the legal marriage done at your local city office first and then enjoy a symbolic ceremony at your desired destination.
This approach allows you to have the best of both worlds—a legally binding marriage and a stunning symbolic wedding in a place away from home.
5 | HOW DO I GET PERMISSION TO MARRY AT [X] LOCATION?
The process for obtaining the necessary permissions and licenses for your wedding varies depending on the location you choose.
Typically, your first step would involve contacting your local City Hall office and State office to understand the legal prerequisites for obtaining a marriage license.
Secondly, you’ll need to look for a venue or location. If you’re envisioning your elopement wedding at a National Park or State Park, visit their website and then get in touch with the Special Events officer who oversees your desired location. They can help with understanding the permit application and payment process.
If your elopement dreams involve an international destination though, contact the embassy or consulate of the country in question.
This is crucial because the requirements will differ significantly from one country to another. While some may have minimal prerequisites, others may have stringent regulations, which can become especially challenging if you aren't fluent in their language.
If it all sounds confusing, you can ask your elopement photographer to help you figure out a list of great elopement locations to fit your wants and needs, and to help you understand the permitting process.
6 | IS AN ELOPEMENT A LEGAL MARRIAGE?
Another thing you need to know about elopements is that yes, it is a legal marriage as long as you follow the legal requirements of your local and state office (or embassy/consulate of the country you’re eloping at) and obtain the signature of your ordained officiant and witnesses, if needed.
The logistics will depend on where you want to elope!
Once you’re on the planning stages, make sure to do your research, chat with the officials, and ask your ordained officiant any questions to help you understand the process better.
Don’t forget to clarify who will be submitting the marriage license back to the local or state offices after all signatures have been provided. This will ensure there’s no misunderstanding or delays in processing and filing!
7 | DO I NEED TO BE ADVENTUROUS TO HAVE AN ‘ADVENTURE’ ELOPEMENT?
Nope! This is a huge misconception. Couples don’t need to be highly adventurous to have an elopement in cool locations. Elopements are incredibly versatile and can cater to a wide range of preferences.
If you’re not into extreme activities like hiking, there are so many spots that can be reached by car. These locations offer the perfect solution for couples looking for unique landscapes without stepping too far out of what’s comfortable for them.
Ultimately every elopement, regardless of where it happens, is an adventure in itself. Through the shared experience and emotional connection between the couple, this journey is one for the books!
8 | IS IT STILL CONSIDERED AN ELOPEMENT IF I HAVE GUESTS?
Most elopements are just for the couple and the required number of witness.
But if you want to have a handful of your closest loved ones with you, I personally consider it an elopement.
A good rule of thumb, from the point of view of a wedding vendor, is:
Up to 10-15 guests, likely considered an elopement
From 16-50 guests, likely considered as an intimate/micro wedding
Over 51 guests, likely considered a regular wedding
Please keep in mind that many venues and ceremony locations restrict the number of guests you can have.
For example, many State Parks and National Parks have a cap for 10-15 guests in some areas; and up to 50-ish for others.
Some other locations don’t even permit you to set up chairs for them to sit so keep that in mind when putting your plans together.
9 | IN TERMS OF PHOTOS, WHY DO I NEED AN ELOPEMENT PHOTOGRAPHER?
While the difference between a wedding photographer and an elopement photographer may seem trivial to you, booking someone who specializes in elopements is crucial to meet your needs.
Choosing the right elopement photographer will benefit you since they possess knowledge in planning elopement timelines, navigating permit applications, and scouting locations.
That is all in addition to their expertise in capturing authentic emotions and love in the outdoors or other non-traditional setting while creating lasting memories that you can share with family and friends.
If you’re currently searching for an elopement photographer, I’d love to chat!
10 | DO I NEED AN OFFICIANT FOR MY CEREMONY?
In the US, there are a few states where you can self-solemnize which means you don’t have to hire an officiant to marry you – You can do it with your partner and on your own!
But most states don’t allow that (in California, it appears to be allowed in about 2 counties so do your research!) so you’ll need to figure out where to have your elopement first, then research the logistics of what you’ll need to do to make the ceremony legal.
If you choose to have a symbolic ceremony abroad, you’ll need to find someone to perform it that is legally registered to officiate in that country.
11 | DO I NEED A PLANNER FOR MY ELOPEMENT?
If you book an elopement photographer and plan to keep it small, with less than about 15 guests, then an elopement planner is truly not necessary.
This is because your elopement photographer can help get your timeline in order, plus assist with permit applications and recommend restaurants for your party. Pretty much you can also plan the rest of the day without much hassle.
But if you’re having more guests (think catering and renting a venue) OR if you’re planning to marry in another country, I suggest you hire a planner that knows the ins-and-out already.
If you book one, it’s possible that they can also help with figuring out the legal paperwork as well as finding the perfect venue for a reception/dinner.
12 | WHAT IS THE BEST MONTH OR DATE TO ELOPE?
Spring and Fall are the perfect seasons for elopements in the U.S. But the date you choose will depend on what your vision is and what is accessible during that time.
For example, if you want a skiing elopement, then you’d need to figure out when the highest snowfall is in the area you want to elope at. On the contrary, if you want your celebration day to be dry and sunny, then you’d need to look for dates and locations that align with those conditions.
When it comes to selecting the date, opting for a weekday is often the only choice. This is because a lot of locations don’t allow events to occur on weekends due to visitors. It’s not uncommon for couples to choose to elope on a Tuesday, Wednesday or Thursday.
13 | ARE ELOPEMENTS WITH NO GUESTS SHORT OR BORING?
They can be short (although I recommend a 4-hour minimum) but that doesn’t mean it will be boring.
If you’re worried that you’ll have an ‘empty’ day when you elope without guests, I’m here to tell you that this is exactly the reason for an elopement! I know it sounds ironic but, seriously, when you elope you can create a timeline that is unique to YOU.
Since you’re spending a little less money on things you don’t actually need (like catering a large party), you have extra room to fill the day with your favorite activities so long as they fit into your budget.
What activities you choose will depend on what you enjoy but to give you a few ideas, couples often book a luxury picnic, go on a hike, and even book helicopter tours of the city!
14 | HOW DO I TELL OUR FAMILY AND FRIENDS THAT WE WANT TO ELOPE?
This is always a tough one and you’ll come to find out that there isn’t really a right way to do it.
Even if your loved ones support your decision to elope, there’ll always be someone upset. And even worse, if you’re inviting just a few guests, some may be happy to know they were invited while the rest…might not. And that sucks to deal with.
Ultimately, remember that your elopement is about how you want to spend it and with who. It’s no one else's business to tell you how you should go about it and it’s not okay for upset people to guilt-trip you.
People are entitled to their opinion but it’s not an excuse to push you or rain on your parade.
If you’re not inviting anyone, as soon as you know you’re going to elope, share the news with your closest people and let them know it’ll be an intimate experience with your fiancé(e) only. If you want to extend a ‘distant’ invite, you can include them in your day by asking them to write you love letters so you can read them on your elopement day. This is a small but meaningful way to include loved ones in such a special day.
That all said, be open minded. Some people will cheer you on while others will find a way to make you feel like you’re hurting them. Try your best to understand that their reaction has nothing to do with you.
15 | CAN I HAVE A RECEPTION AFTER ELOPING?
YES, YOU CAN!
Whether you’re doing it to invite everyone or just the guests that couldn’t be present at your elopement, you can plan to host a reception later on. This can either be a huge party or a simple dinner at a fancy restaurant.
Couples do this to be able to celebrate with loved ones once they are in a better financial state or to simply compromise. So make sure you set money & time aside (in advance) to plan it out.
And also remember: having a reception is only worth the effort if it’s something you truly want to do.
If you’re having a reception after eloping, I recommend that you set the date for 2-3 months after you elope. This will give you extra time to enjoy your newly-married status, plan last-minute things, and even finalize guests’ RSVP details.
16 | IS IT WEIRD TO SEND ‘WE ARE ELOPING’ or ‘WE ELOPED’ CARDS TO OUR LOVED ONES?
Not weird— It’s becoming more common to do so!
Sending cards is optional as well but it’s a nice way to announce your marriage in a formal manner. In my opinion, it’s better than your loved ones finding out through a Facebook or Instagram post.
If you choose to send cards, it’s ideal to wait AFTER your elopement for two reasons:
1) You’ll have photos from your day to use (from your photographer); and,
2) People won’t press for details and surprise you by showing up unannounced to your ceremony site, if you’re not inviting anyone
So, what would you write? Here’s a sample script for a card to be sent after your elopement:
“Dear xx, it’s with the happiest of hearts that we want to let you know we’ve tied the knot! We spent a beautiful and intimate day at [location] on [date] -- We truly loved [add specific details about date, location or ceremony here]. Thank you for supporting us on this special day for us!”
If you’re having a reception later on, you can add something like:
“Please save the date for our upcoming reception on [date] at [time] and come celebrate with us. Details to come soon!”
Did you find this post helpful? Save it for later!
Hey, I’m Sara!
I’m a California elopement photographer based in the Central Valley.
If you’re recently engaged or ready to start planning your elopement day, I’m cheering you on and I’d love to help!
Let’s talk about your vision, gush over stunning locations and spend the day creating memories.
I’m here to guide you through the process + capture your day how you dream it.
YOUR PERFECT DAY STARTS HERE
LATEST POSTS:
